This is goodbye
by LittleMonkeyPo
Summary: It's been three years since she came back. Three years of almost nothing, she can't stand it anymore. This is Mackenzie's goodbye.
1. The Letter

I don't really know why I had to write it in English, but I did. I'm really sorry if there are spelling errors and grammatical mistakes, I did my best to correct it.

So, here we are, Mackenzie and Will, on the road of angst and drama. This is an one-shot for now, but I might write more.

* * *

_You know, how you always said that you felt like it's been a hundred years, like you've known me forever. You said that things were easy for us, that we were amazing together. _

_I understand now._

_I feel like it's been a hundred years since the first time I met you. You shook my hand, smiled at me like I was the most important person in the attendance, and told me that you couldn't wait to work with me, to hear my voice in your ear. _

_I feel like I'm the only one who can understand you, I feel like I'm the only one who got to know you, the real Will McAvoy. And, I know that I'm right. I knew you. _

_Today, I feel like we are two strangers, trying to escape a place we don't belong in. Like we are stuck here, and we don't know what to do because we are too afraid to hurt each other. We can't move, we can't breathe, we're stuck. _

_We tried. We fucking tried to start again, we tried to have this amazing and unbreakable friendship we had before. Everyday, I would wake up, a smile on my face, happy to go to work because I was going to spend my day with you. I knew that we would fight. I knew that we would be angry at each other, but I didn't care, I was working with you. _

_We can't fool ourselves anymore. We are over. And, it's been awhile. _

_How do I know that we're over ?_

_Well, I know you. I know that, after three years that I've been back in your life, you will never forgive me. I know that we are stuck in this place where I cheated on you. I know that there's nothing I can do to change how we are, because you can't forget. You can't forgive. _

_Maybe I was hoping too much, maybe I thought I could fix us. Three years ago, I was full of hope. Tonight, I am empty. It's almost midnight, on Friday night, and I'm sitting here at your desk writing a fucking letter. Why ?_

_Tonight is the night you decided to quit trying. If you stop, then I'm not wanted anymore. You took away your earpiece while I was talking to you. I saw the look you gave at the camera, the look you gave me. _

_Tonight's show was our last. This is goodbye. _

_Mackenzie. _

_PS : This isn't like I haven't said it a thousand times, but I am sorry. I am so deeply, deeply sorry for hurting you so much. I thought I would be able to spend the rest of my life telling you that, because I love you, but I realize that's you don't want to hear those words, you just want peace. I'm walking away, that's what I do best. The last three years here in New York, gosh, I enjoyed it. We had a good time Will, it's time to close the book, for both of us._

* * *

She wiped the tear from her cheek and folded the sheet of paper in half. She wrote his name on the top of it and left his office. Tears were streaming down her face, she couldn't help it, she was ready to go.

Jim was sitting on her desk, waiting, five boxes at his feet, and a sad smile on his face.

« I will have someone send it to your place tomorrow morning. »

« Thank you. »

He was the only one who knew she was leaving, he was the only one because she hasn't been able to tell Sloan, or Charlie. She asked him to come in her office after the broadcast, thinking that he wasn't going to ask any question, but he did. He asked why, and she couldn't lie. He said he would wait for her, help her pack her things if she needed.

« When are you leaving ? »

« It's better if you don't know. »

« Mac. »

« Jim, please, I don't want you to lie to him. »

« But I want to know. »

« My plane is at one. Happy ?»

« Very. You want me to do something ? »

« Just go home, I'll call you...soon. »

« I'll miss you. »

« Yeah, me too. »

* * *

.


	2. She left

Well, I guess I'm inspired by this one. Thanks everyone for the reviews ! You are amazing :)

* * *

It was a little after nine when he woke up, feeling that something was wrong. At first, he thought it was the hangover, or the taste of blood in his mouth because he bit the inside of his cheek while sleeping. But there was more.

He felt like something was wrong, in his whole universe.

Quickly enough, he remembered. The show of the night before, Mackenzie telling him to stop. He wanted to go on, he was so close to an answer, so close that he took away his earpiece. Then, he left as fast as he possibly could because he didn't want to deal with Mackenzie.

The day before was – in some way - special. Maybe that's why he was on the edge, maybe he was mad because she acted like it was an ordinary day. But it wasn't, not for him. It was the anniversary of their first date. He really thought she was going to remember, that she would say something, and give him the opportunity to ask her out. She worked all day in her office, and then, when he wanted to do his job, the only thing he felt he was good at, she yelled at him. He couldn't bear that.

It wasn't a good day at all. But he couldn't blame her for not remembering, he was the one obsessed with their anniversaries. And it wasn't like they were an item in any way.

_« Just two friends, that's what we are. » _

He was drunk when he said that at the last Christmas party, when they were too close on the balcony, almost in the arms of each other. They were both drunk, and he was pretty sure Mac didn't remember most of the night, but still, he said it, just because he didn't want to take advantage of her.

He was eating his breakfast while reading the paper when his phone rang with a text message of Charlie asking him to be at the office as soon as possible, and thirty minutes later, he was in the car next to Lonny, on the way to the ACN building.

« You okay ? »

« I don't know. »

« You don't know ? You're either fine or not McAvoy. »

« Charlie asked me to come asap, and we had a meeting at eleven. Something isn't right. »

« Maybe it's the weather. A storm coming up ? »

« I am a news anchor, not the weather bimbo. »

« Sometimes, I wonder. » laughed the bodyguard « Here we are. Want me to wait here ? »

« No, I might spend the rest of the day here. I'll call you. »

Charlie Skinner wasn't the kind of man who liked to wait, but he didn't have the choice. He was in his office at ten o'clock ready to do the news as always, even if it was Saturday. He was surprised to see a piece of paper on his desk, with nothing more than «_ I just can't, I'm sorry Charlie. You will receive an official resignation letter by Monday. Mackenzie McHale._ » written on it. Her office was empty, Jim was behind his desk looking at him with a sad smile, and he understood.

Charlie, Jim and Sloan were talking not so quietly in the middle of the open-space, but when Will got out of the elevator, they stopped, and looked at him, expecting a reaction.

« What's going on ? Why did I have to...Why are you looking at me like that ? »

« She left. »

« Who left ? »

« Mackenzie. »

« What ? No. She must... »

« Her office is empty, and she let a note saying that she resigned. » Charlie continued « What the hell have you done ? »

« Nothing ! »

« Well, that's the problem. » Sloan hissed

In the middle of the newsroom, staring at Mackenzie's empty office, Will realized what was wrong. She was mad, she was yelling in his ear, but she didn't call. Not even once. He went to his office, opening the door with his fist and he spotted the letter on his desk.

« Fuck. »

He was reading the letter, and at the same time was dialing Mackenzie's number. He called six times before bursting out his office, asking Jim where she was. Charlie and Sloan were worried, so much worried than Jim, the young man knew, and Will had to make him speak.

« I can't say. »

« Jim, please. »

« I really can't, I wish I could but she said she had to leave, that she'll call soon. »

« Tell me what you know, where she is. »

« She wanted...She left, told me that it's late for you guys, that she was dreaming and it needed to stop. I think...»

« You think what ? »

« She loves you, and you love her. You should go to her apartment. »

« What if she isn't there ? »

« You should go. »

Jim knew that there was no chance that Mackenzie was still at her apartment, it was almost eleven. He knew that Will was going to kill him, but he didn't care, he was loyal to Mac and that was the most important thing for him.

* * *

Lonny wasn't outside, and Will didn't have the time to wait for him, so he took a cab. The ride was faster than he expected to, probably because he promised the driver he would pay him three times the price of the ride. He was standing in front of Mackenzie's building less than fifteen minutes after leaving the can building.

The elevator was out-of-order, so he ran to the second floor as fast as possible. There were men in the lobby, in front of Mac's apartment, talking and laughing loudly. Will tried to get past them to go to the door, but one of them pushed him against the wall.

« Hey man, can I help you ? »

« No, I'm fine. »

« Miss McHale said a man might stop by, searching for her, I guess it's you. »

« Me. Yes, yeah it's me...Where is she ? »

« At the airport. »

« Which one ? »

« Listen man, I gotta work, the lady gave me a lot of money to have her things packed...»

« Here, fifty dollars. Which airport ? »

« Ah, she said you would do that. »

« Come on ! » growled Will, giving the man another fifty dollars.

« La Guardia. »

« Thank you ! »

* * *

So, another one, and we'll be done. I can't believe how easy it was to write this one. :)


End file.
